When sometime i have to do something alone, while we used to do it together and that time, i feel like i wanna cry but i still say to myself..
"go to HELL with this tears. if i cry thousand times, you still will not coming back. Let go back to work and ENJOY the life"
Indeed, i felt alone inside. Yes, i have thousand and million people around me but it wont be the same when i;m with you.
When i go to the places where we used to go actually i wish i could see you somewhere in corner but i tell myself.
"with what reason i wish you were here while i know that you don't remember even one of our memory"
i wish that i could be with you that time. In your arms
When someone make a stupid joke, it recall me all of nonsense stories and stupid jokes you had told me before. But i say to myself
"you must tell others girls the same stories you had told me. So the other girl will easy like you cause you make them loud of laugh. so what make me so special. nothing right? come efa.. let leave him alone"
i HATE people who make me laugh, cause it remind me how you make me laugh. NO ONE ever make me laugh that way you did babe! did you know that???!
When go the roxy's or seed's boutique, suddenly i remember about you. I know seed is your fav brand the same goes with padinni. but i'll say
"promise to myself that i will not wear anymore the shirt that you had given to me"
But, can i do it? cause everytime i wear it, i can fell you inside me. why you don't feel the same?
when i heard about football match, automatically i recall all the argument about that.
"speaking bout football, he must dying inside the match. who cares about that?"
I wish i could be a part of what you like, football, futsal, how much you being soooo fanatic about your team. :P even i still give condemned comment about your team hahaha
When i know that you're sick, or not feeling well i just close eyes and close ears to it. Acting like it didn't affect me at all.
"he got TRILLION people who will concern about him."
but actually after that i cry and cry a lot because i' worry about you. And i can stop myself not to worry about you. And i pray you will cure as soon as possible and i wish i could ask you, whether you really ok or not. i wish i could care while you sick. And angry at you when you skip eat your drugs.
When you're in tense mood, you got too many things to do and everyone keep chasing you to ask many things, i tell myself
I wish i could hug you then tell you everything gonna be alright, and i always be right beside you. You can tell me anything that you want.
When i see you wear your favourite shirt and you look soooo handsome but i tell myself...
"is there anything should i concern about you?"
Indeed, i CAN"T take my eyes of you... I glanced at you without your permission hahaha sorry :P i wish that i can tell you once again, "you look so great!"
When my friend asking me about you but simply said
"i don't know about him. is he still exist in my life?"
i really wanna say how much i need you, how much i felt lost without you. i felt missing when you are not with me.
When the time i really really really miss you, and there's nothing that i can do except thinking of you. Proudly say to myself
"i'm NOT missing you, i dont need you, i will not care about you. i still can enjoy my life. i still have my my friend that can make me laugh and even help when i need someone."
But, honestly my heart cannot pretend that i not missing you. And a few minutes later i cry.
When i can sleep at night cause i'm miss you and i tell myself
"for sure i will sleep well tonight"
but the true story, i cry and cry and cry until i realize my alarm a wake me the next morning.
Indeed, i pray and pray everyday GOD will give one more time to tell you, how much i need you, i hate to live without you, i hate to see you with the other girls, i want to take care of you for the rest of my life, but the most important thing i wish GOD will give me a second chance to be with you and to tell you how much I LOVE YOU...