Kalau...

i reminiscing about my past these few days.

errrrrm its not a good things to do Efa!

Cuti tahun baru cina yang lepas, i went to Sri Aman area. Some places i went for the first time. So bila dah duduk lama dalam kereta, banyak benda lah i fikirkan, kenang balik what i have been through for all those time. Reminisced balik my happy time, dan fikir dalam-dalam why I am here now. What i have now.

Saya tak suka word "kalau" or "if". I hate that word.

So cara saya elakkan dari memikirkan perkara negatif is i twist my mind and ask my self

"what have i learned?"

"i am going to do same thing again?"

"what is the most important thing in life?" 

Let me remind myself, I just want to be happy. No matter how bad your situation is, happiness doesn't count by how well your situation is, how much money do have in your bank or purse, how comfortable your mattress for sleep, how great your partner is, or how great your job is.

Kebahagian itu sangat subjektif. Jika kita fikir apa yang ada di dunia ini boleh buat kita bahagia, maka adakah kita merasakan yang apek jual botol tu tak bahagia? Belum kita lebih bahagia dari mereka.

To be Happy is my biggest concern in life. And may be that is the reason, i'm being so stubborn. I only think about what make me happy. Prinsip hidup senang je, redah je apa yang di depan mata. My worse part is, i jarang fikir consequences. Dan mungkin sebab itu lah, usually saya sll dapat masalah besar. Hehe

For me, saya nak hidup yang simple. Kalau saya ada problem, saya nak selesaikan masalah tu cepat-cepat. But sometimes saya lupa, hidup pun tak boleh nak rush sangat. Its all about TIME. Dan saya nie bukanlah penyabar sangat orang nya. May be i just good in pretending. 

Private & Confidential

I am an extrovert. I think. Hahaha but the one thing about me is i keep a lot of to myself only. And only few people know about my story. If people say I am a secretive, well yes! I am.

To be exact, I am 24 years old (errrr + 2 months) And on my 24th birthday there something big happen to me, and affect my life. Bukanlah nak mengenang perkara yang lama, NO! i am not that kind of person BUT I got lessons from that experienced.

I become more secretive about my life.

BUT I think I need to clear something to someone.

I may being mean to you may be, for not telling the world that i am with you now. But i hope you can accept my reason why I am doing that way.

I may not be good in writing, nor in telling verbally. To be short, I am bad in telling others how's my feeling. The worse part, usually the things become worse :(

For first of all I am sorry, for not being open to the world that i am with you now. Because you know what? I don't want to share the best moment we had to world. I want to keep it to us only. Make it special to us only. And only let few people  know how happy I am now.