Sunday, June 28, 2009

Deeper n more Deeper

Bila aku baca blog org lain, then aku perasan cgek hal tentang aku nek tok. Why is that so hard for me to express my feeling about him? Being in love is not a mistake. But why everytime i want to tell him that i'm love him, i feel guilty? X da salah nya mengaku yang I LOVE HIM so much. LOVE him more he thought.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Wanna take it all?

Being so selfish? i don't think that is me dear. But, deeply sometimes i cant pretend HURT inside my heart. I'm so sorry bout that. Sometimes my tears burst out on my face just because of i want you be with me that time but you cant make it for me.But the fact is, i forget about myself. WHO AM I IN YOUR LIFE? Why must i ask something crazy meanwhile i had promised to myself that i will not do it. Why must i being so pampered right now? Start to forget everything that i had promised to myself? hrmm i'm so sorry bout that... PROMISE i'll not do it anymore *cross finger*

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

What should i say?

After all, what should i say now? Happy? Hurt? Butterflies flying freely around me. Flying freely inside my heart. So how can i deny it? Afraid of HURT? Yes it is. That is the reason. The major reason for sure. Afraid of loosing someone that i love madly.

Seriously, sometimes i just want to give up to everything. Seems like i never get what i want in life. Is that so hard to get it?


Actually i got this from one of my friends blog.. nice article from her

Based on my observations, and fair share of experiences, the one main problem why relationships don't work is because both parties have different wants and needs. So that is why I decide to place this important sign first, before you excitedly make a decision whether or not he's the right man for you. The first, most
vital sign is - He shares the same common ground as you do. Having the same interests is always a bonus. But Ladies, it is very very important that you both want the same things. The same things doesn't mean that you both have to enjoy the same food, the same sense of style, the same sleeping positions, the same favorite color, or the same favorite music, etc. What I mean is, there are more than the littlest share of common grounds to think of. Knowing if he's the right man is to know what he wants in his life and in this case, your relationship. If he wants a serious relationship, and talks about having a family with you, while you only want a simple spontaneous type of relationship - that is a red flag sign. Do you ever wonder why couples who share the same interests and have the best chemistry suddenly broke up with no obvious reason? Well, let's just say it's better to have different interests at times - variety can gain you knowledge and it's easily accepted and tolerable - rather than having to tolerate something big and life-changing that you don't want, but you force yourself to in order to keep him.

Secondly, he still makes the effort to make things better for the both of you. When it comes to a lifetime partnership, there are highs and lows of it. It's a tragic, yet ironically beautiful truth. It's great when you both have the best times together, you feel like you would want to marry him and have the best days together forever. But do you even consider the opposite? When you had a huge fight with him, how did he react? Was he trying to make things better, or did he simply walk away and hope that the problem gradually fades away with time until he comes back to you? Even if you haven't experienced a huge fight with him yet, I assure you, there will be a time when you have your downfalls. And when you do, look and feel the signs. If he's the right man for you to continue your relationship with, he listens to you. No matter how insensitive a man can be, he will try to understand by listening to you and try to figure out what are you trying to tell him. Whether it's good or bad, he respects you and your judgements. And when he thinks you are wrong, he will tell you soon enough, with a good explanation to it. His efforts count a lot. It's easy to feel like he's perfect when you both are problem-free, but what makes him right for you is how he overcomes and handle the problems in order to stand up from the fall, - in order to get back to that once beautiful state of relationship you were both in. And make you happy.

Trust. Sheesh. Trust is a big word for me. A big, dangerous word. But, like it or not, you know he's the right one for you when he trusts you. Trust doesn't always just mean that he believes that you will not cheat on him or will responsibly use his cheque book for a good cause. The most fragile type of trust from a man, (which I have a huge humongous fear of) is when he trusts you not solely with his mind and judgements, but also his heart. You know a man is serious about you when he tells you secrets about his past, about his downfalls, about his weaknesses. Because generally, men don't share stories as much as women do. They prefer to keep things to themselves. But once he does, this is a sign that he is willing to open up to you at his most fragile, most sensitive, most 'un-manly' state, setting aside his ego for once, just to let you know who he really is, or was, so that you can accept him or at least make the right decision whether or not not to, for your own good. And especially coming from someone who is cold, reserved and down right secretive...

*deep, careful breath*.

...Trust. Big, BIG word.

Another sign is, - He introduces you to his world. You know when they say when he decides to bring you back to his hometown, you know you're heading for a huge step - meeting his parents, or family. And when he does, you know he's serious. A man will never bring any kind of woman to meet his Mom. So if you're looking for a lifetime partner, when this sign occurs to you, then he is the right guy for you. But putting aside his family, maybe it's too soon for him to bring you to them, but does he take you to places where he loves spending time at? Or did he introduce you to his best friends? Or even better, does he trust you in bringing you along when he hangs out with them most of the time? Did he bring you or proposed on bringing you to the upcoming Metallica concert which happens to be his favorite band? And of course, does he make an effort to bring you to the mall just because he knows how you love to shop? Does he make an effort to join in or at least get to know your best friends? You know he's that right when he trusts you to step into his world, and is aware of the things and people that matter to you and try to be part of it as well.

Men, are independent and selfish creatures. They only let things get in their way and are willing to lose something when that something is worth it. Worth it, meaning really REALLY worth it. Hence, if he's serious about you, - He is willing to sacrifice for you. Let's recall the times you spend with him. Are they mostly done when he's taking the day off? Or are they done when he's working (or studying) but he still wants to spend time with you even though he has too many work and assignments to catch up? Sacrifice can be a lot of things - be it money, his time, his judgements, his planning, his principles, his rules, etc. When he is able and willing to sacrifice those things for you, you know he is not only serious about you, but is ready to powerfully commit a relationship with you, who, to him happens to be someone that is worth it.

Of course, after considering the signs and facts whether or not he's the right one for you, you can never be too confident to convince yourself that he is - even if he passed every single signs above. Because sure, he trusts you, he makes the effort, you even hang out with all of his friends, even with his frickin' family for all I know, and yeah you are positively certain that he is totally ready to commit himself to you. But are you ready to commit with him? So the last (but obviously not the least) sign if he's Mr. Right is - He still gives you that feeling. Remember the first time the both of you had dinner and having the greatest time together way back when? Do you feel the same sense of belonging and happiness that you had back then when you're with him now? Can you be yourself whenever he's around? If you still can and the feelings are getting deeper, then yes, he IS your Mr. Right. Congratulations to you. But if the feelings aren't there anymore, albeit everything he's done for you, I believe the both of you deserve someone else other than each other. Because meeting Mr. Right is not just about knowing and appreciating what he's done for you and your relationship physically, but also about whether or not he can keep your feelings for him alive that you don't feel the need to be with him because you are bounded to. It's better to get out of the relationship, than feeling sorry in the end.


And there you have it. I guess I made my points clear enough. So, is he the right guy for you?

If he is, all I can say is - Cherish him. Appreciate him for being who he is, for making you be able and have the chance to be who you really are, and for always believing in you and your relationship. You will never know how he really feels deep down or what he really thinks, and what is going to happen. But just knowing how special you are to him, and how right he is for you...that's enough reason for you to honor him, to not take him for granted. And to honestly, love him.

To love him...???





...Is this how it feels like?


Anyway. I hope you guys enjoy my not-so-formal yet true from the heart and mind articles. Let me know what you think, and feel free to leave in comments and suggestions. They are much appreciated. I'm not a licensed journalist or happen to be a relationship expert or something, but I believe in what I see, and what I've learned. I wish to share a whole lot of my views in the future, and thanks for reading.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Piluk ati

"sebagai kekasih yg tak dianggap
aku hanya bisa mencoba mengalah
menahan setiap amarah"

Tiba2 hati ku rasa tersentuh bila dengar lagu tok "Kekasih yang tak di anggap" selalu x jwak hahah funny eh... damly miss him. sebab ya kali. Tersentuh hati sebab memang benar pun setiap kali pun aku hanya mampu mengalah. dan menahan segala2 nya di dalam hati tanpa mampu aku luah kan apa yang aku rasa... i lost my word. when i miss him, i simply cant find the best word to tell him how i much miss him. apparently, "that" feeling geting stronger n stronger. am i the only one who felt that way or he felt the same way as well? ahhhhhh dem!!! who care bout that?

wishing and praying that he gonna lying beside me everyday, wishing and praying that he gonna hug me everyday, wishing and praying he gonna be first person i see when i wake up every morning...


"If I could have just one wish, I would wish to wake up everyday to the sound of your breath on my neck, the warmth of your lips on my cheek, the touch of your fingers on my skin, and the feel of your heart beating with mine... Knowing that I could never find that feeling with anyone other than you"

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Wednesday, June 17, 2009


Try to find my best word to explain to you how i feel right now... hard to say "NO" and hard to say "YES" as well. Straight to the point... YES! i'm falling in LOVE with someone right now. Someone that i called HIM. but instead of that i DON'T say that i will "KUNCI" my heart to anyone.

May be EFA you know right now is different from efa you know last few years dear, may be i'm too demanding nowadays. Cause i'm well trained by HURT. To make it short, if you want something in your life so you must give effort on it. May be you just have give it right now. Hope you understand of what i mean. DON'T expect too much from me couse i can't promise anything right now. But to be fair so i give you the CHANCE. May be right now, i'm in the comfort zone. Comfort to be single *it almost 1 year* something that i really enjoy it right now. I simply can't deny when speaking about heart, anything can happen, the same thing happen to our LIFE. The important thing is EFFORT.

Change it to BOY

I want this girl who will put her head on your shoulder, not because she's sleepy, but because she wants to be closer to you.

I want this girl who likes to be kissed in the rain more than inside your bedroom or in an expensive restaurant.

I want this girl who says,"Okay, but you owe me...", not because I actually want something, but because it means I get to spend more time with you.

I want this girl you can take absolutely anywhere and I will have fun because it means I am spending time with you.

I want this girl who is incredibly picky, but when I find someone I like I want to spend the whole night curled up in their arms.

I want this girl who never forgets all the sweet little things you do for her.

I want this girl who never gives up hope even when I tell others I have.

I want this girl who once I let you into my heart, there's always a place there with your name on it. And even if we spend time apart, I'm the girl who never forgets you.

I want this girl who loves to end a hug with a kiss.

I want this girl who you can talk to about anything.

I want this girl who will brag about you to all of my friends.

I want this girl who will listen to you talk.

I want this girl who loves it when you hug me for no apparent reason.

I want this girl who loves it when you hug me from behind.

I want this girl who loves you for you, and doesn't care what other people say about us.

I want this girl who loves it when you introduce me to your friends as your girlfriend.

I want this girl who loves the feeling when you take me by the hand without saying a word.

I want this girl who loves it when you give me flowers for no apparent reason.

I want this girl who thinks the world of you. All I want is for us to be together.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

counting times + days + months

i watched he played futsal yesterday, seeing him on the court made me praying something. Allah, please help me to make him HALAL for me to touch him + to hug him + n to live with him with the rest of my life. Please help me to be with him. i just don't want anyone might get hurt. i love him so much Allah. no matter how hard i try to keep denying that feeling the fact inside my heart i LOVE him. thanks so much to kak mizah, she helps me a lot by giving me moral support to get him while felt give up on everything. she always ask me to fight it n be patient on everything consequences that i might get. afraid to know how the ending story between him and i. but i keep telling myself. the more u afraid on something the more you must have to face it. the more i afraid to lose him the more i have to face the helps me feel more calm.

keep praying n praying that is the only thing that i can do now... but no matter how others called our status, on top of that i wanna say i more time. i LOVE u, babe.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009


pa ka tiba2 no 4 kat atas ya... its been 4 month. setiap hari yg mek org lalui x terasa pun. merrier when i with him... praying that wat i feel now will last forever...

Wednesday, June 3, 2009


When it comes to making the decision about choosing a life partner, no one wants to make a mistake. Yet, with a divorce rate of close to 50%, it appears that many are making serious mistakes in their approach to finding Mr./Miss. Right!

If you ask most couples who are engaged why they're getting married, they'll say: 'We're in love'; I believe this is the #1 mistake people make when they date. Choosing a life partner should never be based on love. Though this may sound 'not politically correct', there's a profound truth here. Love is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result of a good marriage. When the other ingredients are right, then the love will come. Let me say it again: 'You can't build a lifetime relationship on love alone'; You need a lot more!!!

Here are five questions you must ask yourself if you're serious about finding and keeping a life partner.

QUESTION ..1: Do we share a common life purpose?

Why is this so important? Let me put it this way: If you're married for 20 or 30 years, that's a long time to live with someone. What do you plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together? You need to share something deeper and more meaningful. You need a common life purpose.

Two things can happen in a marriage:
(1) You can grow together, or
(2) you can grow apart.

50% of the people out there are growing apart. To make a marriage work, you need to know what you want out of life! Bottom line; and marry someone who wants the same thing.

QUESTION ..2: Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this person?

This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship. Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The basis of having good communication is trust - i.e. trust that I won't get 'punished'; or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts and feelings. A colleague of mine defines an abusive person as someone with whom you feel afraid to express your thoughts and feelings. Be honest with yourself on this one.

Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the person you plan to marry.

QUESTION ..3: Is he/she a mensch?

A mensch is someone who is a refined and sensitive person. How can you test? Here are some suggestions. Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis? Are they serious about improving themselves? A teacher of mine defines a good person as 'someone who is always striving to be good and do the right ';.So ask about your Significant other: What do they do with their time? Is this person materialistic? Usually a materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character refinement.

There are essentially two types of people in the world:
(1) People who are dedicated to personal growth and
(2) People who are dedicated to seeking comfort.

Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing. You need to know that before walking down the aisle.

QUESTION ..4: How does he/she treat other people?

The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the ability to give. By giving, we mean the ability to give another person pleasure.

Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they wrapped up in themselves and self-absorbed? To measure this, think about the following:

How do they treat people whom they do not have to be nice to, such as waiters, bus boys, taxi drivers, etc..
How do they treat their parents and siblings?
Do they have gratitude and appreciation? If they don't have gratitude for the people who have given them everything;

Can you do nearly as much for them? You can be sure that someone who treats others poorly, will eventually treat you poorly as well.

QUESTION ..5: Is there anything I'm hoping to change about this person after we're married?

Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention of trying to 'improve'; them after they're married. As a colleague of mine puts it: 'You can probably expect someone to change after marriage for the worse' If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry them.

In conclusion, dating doesn't have to be difficult and treacherous. The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less with your heart.

It pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating; to be sure to ask questions that will help you get to the key issues. Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your finger, you don't want to find yourself in trouble because you didn't do your homework.

Another perspective...

There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance..

It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go of or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not-going anywhere relationships. Observe the relationships around you.

Pay attention..
Which ones lift and which ones lean? Which ones encourage and which ones discourage? Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill? When you leave certain people do you feel better or feel worse? Which ones always have drama or don't really understand, know, or appreciate you?

The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you...the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit
in the front row and who should be moved to the balcony of your life.

An African proverb states, 'Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye'; Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't let lust, pity, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem make you blind to warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults aren't really that important.

Do you bring out the best in each other?

Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare and control?

What do you bring to the relationship?

Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain?

You can't take someone to the altar to alter them.
You can't make someone love you or make someone stay.

If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and 'a life'; you won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain. Seeking status, sex, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship.







7. DAILY EXCHANGES (meal, shared activity, hug, call, touch, notes,




If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment withdrawal, abuse, neglect, and dishonesty; and pain will replace it.

sumber: email dalaman UNIMAS hihi :D [secara tepatnya dari kak faezah cne nya dapat tok x tauk jwak lah]

Tuesday, June 2, 2009


yeah so that is how the final stage between us... TEARS :( not really actually... glad to knoe that u're hepi with me... glad to knoe i had been ur important person before.

"talking to u makes me felt relieve
next to u, i felt secure
close to u makes my world merrier..
deep inside sumtime, i felt that u deserve a better person than me..
that will love u more than me
really hope u met sum1 better than me...
each & every day..
so that u can 4get bout me
so that i will be your history..
not a bad one
but to remind you, that bcoz of me, u find a better person than me...
that can love u , pamper u as much as others can give u
all the time babe..
then u will noe..
ada org lain nok bagus gik dari kmk..."

to knoe this, make me feel relief. to knoe that u're happy with me is more than enough. i dunt want to be so selfish and greedy for hoping that u're mine meanwhile i knoe sume1 will get hurt if u're mine. hurt!!! yup i have to say n admit it... hurt to knoe may be u're the wrong person that i love... but no doubt i'll not ever give up easily... i cant promise that i will love and miss u as more than a friend forever but for as a friend for sure i'll.

yes, u're the best person i ever met, the moment we had was the best moment i ever had, but fact soon or later its over. seeing u make me smile, seeing u make happy. i always pray the best for u... coz when ur happy so am i... praying that i will found sum1 that will love me more than i love u, will miss me more than i miss u, will need me more than i need u... Be optimist n keep smiling coz i knoe there always gonna have enough love to every1... i dunt have to be rush if i'm not ready to give it yet, i dun have to force myself if the time not coming yet. for sure i never close my heart to every1... may be this is just not the rite time.

i love u babe.... love u with all my heart. wat i'm gonna tell u, u had told me earlier... while i'm with u i feel it is more than enough. u dunt have to do anything else. it is enough u hug me... u complete my life... sumthing missing when i'm without u... demmm!!! weird!!! love is about enjoying to be with sum1... whether i want to admit or not here is the fact. BABE, I LOVE U.

go for it!!!

"ya drpd ktk makan hati,bgus kitak cuba menangkan hatinya...mun nang nya bkan utk kitak what can u better try than u never try"

wellllll ya yg kak mizah told me once i give up with u... hrmmmmmmm memang bena eh hal hati dan perasaan susah ktk nak padah... pa yang kita nampak secara zahirnya kadang2 x sama dengan realitinya nya d dlm hati... swer to go i never had any intend to grab you from ur gf, this is just my feeling. plz dear... listen to me... listen to every word i tell u..pls trust me that every word love i say i say to you... plz listen that every my heart beats is always goes to you.