Wednesday, June 24, 2009


Actually i got this from one of my friends blog.. nice article from her

Based on my observations, and fair share of experiences, the one main problem why relationships don't work is because both parties have different wants and needs. So that is why I decide to place this important sign first, before you excitedly make a decision whether or not he's the right man for you. The first, most
vital sign is - He shares the same common ground as you do. Having the same interests is always a bonus. But Ladies, it is very very important that you both want the same things. The same things doesn't mean that you both have to enjoy the same food, the same sense of style, the same sleeping positions, the same favorite color, or the same favorite music, etc. What I mean is, there are more than the littlest share of common grounds to think of. Knowing if he's the right man is to know what he wants in his life and in this case, your relationship. If he wants a serious relationship, and talks about having a family with you, while you only want a simple spontaneous type of relationship - that is a red flag sign. Do you ever wonder why couples who share the same interests and have the best chemistry suddenly broke up with no obvious reason? Well, let's just say it's better to have different interests at times - variety can gain you knowledge and it's easily accepted and tolerable - rather than having to tolerate something big and life-changing that you don't want, but you force yourself to in order to keep him.

Secondly, he still makes the effort to make things better for the both of you. When it comes to a lifetime partnership, there are highs and lows of it. It's a tragic, yet ironically beautiful truth. It's great when you both have the best times together, you feel like you would want to marry him and have the best days together forever. But do you even consider the opposite? When you had a huge fight with him, how did he react? Was he trying to make things better, or did he simply walk away and hope that the problem gradually fades away with time until he comes back to you? Even if you haven't experienced a huge fight with him yet, I assure you, there will be a time when you have your downfalls. And when you do, look and feel the signs. If he's the right man for you to continue your relationship with, he listens to you. No matter how insensitive a man can be, he will try to understand by listening to you and try to figure out what are you trying to tell him. Whether it's good or bad, he respects you and your judgements. And when he thinks you are wrong, he will tell you soon enough, with a good explanation to it. His efforts count a lot. It's easy to feel like he's perfect when you both are problem-free, but what makes him right for you is how he overcomes and handle the problems in order to stand up from the fall, - in order to get back to that once beautiful state of relationship you were both in. And make you happy.

Trust. Sheesh. Trust is a big word for me. A big, dangerous word. But, like it or not, you know he's the right one for you when he trusts you. Trust doesn't always just mean that he believes that you will not cheat on him or will responsibly use his cheque book for a good cause. The most fragile type of trust from a man, (which I have a huge humongous fear of) is when he trusts you not solely with his mind and judgements, but also his heart. You know a man is serious about you when he tells you secrets about his past, about his downfalls, about his weaknesses. Because generally, men don't share stories as much as women do. They prefer to keep things to themselves. But once he does, this is a sign that he is willing to open up to you at his most fragile, most sensitive, most 'un-manly' state, setting aside his ego for once, just to let you know who he really is, or was, so that you can accept him or at least make the right decision whether or not not to, for your own good. And especially coming from someone who is cold, reserved and down right secretive...

*deep, careful breath*.

...Trust. Big, BIG word.

Another sign is, - He introduces you to his world. You know when they say when he decides to bring you back to his hometown, you know you're heading for a huge step - meeting his parents, or family. And when he does, you know he's serious. A man will never bring any kind of woman to meet his Mom. So if you're looking for a lifetime partner, when this sign occurs to you, then he is the right guy for you. But putting aside his family, maybe it's too soon for him to bring you to them, but does he take you to places where he loves spending time at? Or did he introduce you to his best friends? Or even better, does he trust you in bringing you along when he hangs out with them most of the time? Did he bring you or proposed on bringing you to the upcoming Metallica concert which happens to be his favorite band? And of course, does he make an effort to bring you to the mall just because he knows how you love to shop? Does he make an effort to join in or at least get to know your best friends? You know he's that right when he trusts you to step into his world, and is aware of the things and people that matter to you and try to be part of it as well.

Men, are independent and selfish creatures. They only let things get in their way and are willing to lose something when that something is worth it. Worth it, meaning really REALLY worth it. Hence, if he's serious about you, - He is willing to sacrifice for you. Let's recall the times you spend with him. Are they mostly done when he's taking the day off? Or are they done when he's working (or studying) but he still wants to spend time with you even though he has too many work and assignments to catch up? Sacrifice can be a lot of things - be it money, his time, his judgements, his planning, his principles, his rules, etc. When he is able and willing to sacrifice those things for you, you know he is not only serious about you, but is ready to powerfully commit a relationship with you, who, to him happens to be someone that is worth it.

Of course, after considering the signs and facts whether or not he's the right one for you, you can never be too confident to convince yourself that he is - even if he passed every single signs above. Because sure, he trusts you, he makes the effort, you even hang out with all of his friends, even with his frickin' family for all I know, and yeah you are positively certain that he is totally ready to commit himself to you. But are you ready to commit with him? So the last (but obviously not the least) sign if he's Mr. Right is - He still gives you that feeling. Remember the first time the both of you had dinner and having the greatest time together way back when? Do you feel the same sense of belonging and happiness that you had back then when you're with him now? Can you be yourself whenever he's around? If you still can and the feelings are getting deeper, then yes, he IS your Mr. Right. Congratulations to you. But if the feelings aren't there anymore, albeit everything he's done for you, I believe the both of you deserve someone else other than each other. Because meeting Mr. Right is not just about knowing and appreciating what he's done for you and your relationship physically, but also about whether or not he can keep your feelings for him alive that you don't feel the need to be with him because you are bounded to. It's better to get out of the relationship, than feeling sorry in the end.


And there you have it. I guess I made my points clear enough. So, is he the right guy for you?

If he is, all I can say is - Cherish him. Appreciate him for being who he is, for making you be able and have the chance to be who you really are, and for always believing in you and your relationship. You will never know how he really feels deep down or what he really thinks, and what is going to happen. But just knowing how special you are to him, and how right he is for you...that's enough reason for you to honor him, to not take him for granted. And to honestly, love him.

To love him...???





...Is this how it feels like?


Anyway. I hope you guys enjoy my not-so-formal yet true from the heart and mind articles. Let me know what you think, and feel free to leave in comments and suggestions. They are much appreciated. I'm not a licensed journalist or happen to be a relationship expert or something, but I believe in what I see, and what I've learned. I wish to share a whole lot of my views in the future, and thanks for reading.

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